Moving on.

I saw a quote today that said- "You can't become who you want to be without being willing to let go of who you are."

I am so tired of the same shit every day. And I'm sure people will call me ungrateful or whatever.. say what you will. I dread work. I hate sitting in a little office with a one year old. It puts me in the grumpiest mood listening to her whine all damn day. After trying to give her EVERYTHING (and ANYTHING!!) She could possibly want.. I am ready to shoot myself. Seriously, I have thought several times that I understand how parents lose it. Not only am I sick and tired of that, I don't make nearly enough for it to be worth it. I have to literally scrape penny's to make it to salt lake for work the week before pay day. I can't even buy groceries! Life is SO hard and I am just so sick of it.

That quote really made me think a lot. How will I ever be satisfied if I don't try to change my life? I always say I can't find a new job because I don't have a babysitter- well, uhm, news flash Jaquie.. nobody else gets to take their children to work and they all have jobs!

I know I am making it to be way more difficult than it really is. I think its just a matter of letting go.. and giving up the life I have now.. but maybe I'm afraid of failing. Ya know? I have failed so many damn times that maybe now it's stuck in my head that this is all that I can do.

But I don't want it to be this way. This isn't the life I want. And I don't need a man, or a friend, to help me live the life that I want - I have me. And I am the only person that can create a successful, stress free, glamorous life. And I'm going to. It's time for a new job. A new schedule. A new life style.