Happy.

I didn't realize how much I had missed flying a spoon full of mushy baby food like a turbo helicopter and crash landing into a big grin with an explosion sound.

I love it!

It has been about 4 years(give or take) since the first time I started doing it. I loved watching that toothless boy get excited about his baby food.

He had the cutest damn laugh. I regret that I was 15. It did wonders for my life and shaped me into the person that I am today, but I didn't have the money to buy a video recorder. And that makes me sad. Because that laugh never got on tape. And I miss it.

I remember laying him on his little play mat under the bar of toys. Right there on our living room floor.. The same living room floor that sissy now does it. We would get him laughing so hard. He would put his toothless gums together and smile so big. I didn't think there could ever be a happier baby. I thought for sure my second babes was going to be an unhappy little bugger compared to him. But they share the same personality.

Funny

Happy

Loving

are just three of the many characteristics that these perfect siblings share.

I didn't know how to react when I found out I was expecting another baby. I was scared. Not scared because I didn't think I could Mother two children. Scared of splitting my attention giving evenly. Scared that one child would think I loved them more/less. But the moment my daughter was born.. I looked at her and she looked so much like her big brother and I could just feel them both melt together in my heart. I knew there would never be a moment that they would doubt their Mama's love for them.

I enjoy feeding, bathing, playing, and loving with my first born. I enjoy feeding, bathing, playing and loving my second born. I've loved every second with both of them since the moment they were born. It amazes me that the things you do when they are newborn, don't ever go away. (I'm pretending my kids don't turn into teenagers, okay?) Jackson will be 5 years old in 5 months and 3 days. I still enjoy feeding, bathing, playing, and loving him (along with MANY other things!) just like I did the day he was born. My daughter is 6 months old, and it's the exact same with her. And I know it will be that way every day for the rest of their lives (and any other child that I Mother). Every day these two little children amaze me with their will to love, teach, and learn. They are the only two people that never let me feel like a disappointment. They love me way past any exception, flaw, or mistake.

Last night we snuggled on the couch and watched qubo. All three of us. It felt so perfect. I laid there with complete contentment. Feeling so blessed and grateful for these two blessings I was given. It made me think about the things that I have been uncertain about, the things that bother me, the things that make me smile, and how nothing compares to these simple little moments that make me whole as a person.

My children make me happy. My children make each other happy. And I hope that I can give them back what they give to me.

Simple but pure happiness.