Loss of words.

I've opened a "new post" every day for the last 2 weeks. I just don't have words to write. I hate that feeling. Because, come on, I have 3 kids... I HAVE PLENTY OF THINGS TO TELL. I am just having a hard time figuring out where to start, I guess. 

So I'll start with last night. Even though I have dang near 6 months to get caught up on.

Jackson lost his 3rd tooth! I can't believe it. When did he get so darn big? It makes me think back to when he was Jagger's age. I was 16 years old. But I sure loved that little boy with my whole heart and I did everything I possibly could to let him know. And I still do... I still work as hard as I can to let my children know that I love than more than anything in this awful world we live in. I love them to the stars. I love them past the stars! I love them all the way to an Alien's heart. -(Quoted from Jackson! And it still makes me grin.)

I am having a lot of struggles right now and I can't help but wonder if I'm doing a good enough job as a Mom. Don't we all have those days? I know they don't doubt my love for them one tiny bit. But am I raising them the right way? The way that will help them through life as they grow up? Am I teaching them values? Am I showing them how to have respect, not only for others but for THEMSELVES? Being a Mother is the hardest thing I've ever done but it is also the most rewarding. I pray for guidance to be able to give these children what they need to have a happy, safe, enjoyable life! I never, ever, ever want to see them go through some of the struggles I have. I want them to know that it isn't okay for someone to speak unkind words to you. And if they do, that they can be the bigger person who has enough self esteem to shrug it off and not let it affect them. I want them to always know that whether it is coloring a picture, building a mud pie,  or flushing the toilet... NO MATTER WHAT, I WILL BE PROUD OF THEM. I will be the ear that listens and the heart that lets them be them. I want them to know that it doesn't matter if they make a mistake; I will always be here to hold them, dry their tears, and help them learn. 

Life is a crazy ride. And I have not made it so easy on myself. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I had done this, or stayed there, or didn't do that. But the fact is, if my life had gone any differently, I wouldn't have MY LIFE. I wouldn't have my wild and loving 6 year old. I wouldn't have my 2 year old princess. And I wouldn't have my 7 month old chunky boy. Each one of my kids play such a special part in my life and I love all of them with every ounce of my being. I know that as long as I do my best to teach them right from wrong, teach them to play just like a KID should for as long as they are allowed to, and that respect and honesty will get them far places... I think everything will be alright.

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If I had to choose between breathing and loving you, I would use my last breath to tell you that I love you.