I am aware.

I am aware now, that everything is gonna be fine.

Today. I am forcing myself to focus on today. Not yesterday, not a year ago, and definitely not a year ahead of now.

It's hard.

But I know that one day, I will be fine. She will be fine. She is fine. She doesn't know any different.

But I'm pissed off. And hurt. And just sick about you being the person that you are.

Tears are welling up in the back of my eyes, and my throat is aching from holding it back.

But I will stay strong. And be pissed off inside. I won't let the world pity me for what you've done or how you've made me feel.

And one day... I won't have tears to cry for you. For me, or for her, because of you.

And one day... I won't wonder about you, your feelings, or what you're doing instead of soaking up this amazing little life.

One day.

But for now.. I'll have to put my attention some place else. My heart is emotional. My mind won't let it get to me. I will feel lucky to have some amazing people that let me know that I'm loved. I will enjoy the laughs, cries, fights, that my two kids let me hear every day. I will smile when I get a picture of a heart in the sand, because someone thought of me on their walk to work. I will bicker with my Mother about my life, because at least she cares. I will let music hit me and maybe I will just let my tears flow. Because I am human. And I am pissed off. And hurt.