"Every morning you are handed 24 golden hours. They are one of the few things in this world that you get free of charge. If you had all the money in the world, you couldn’t buy an extra hour. What will you do with this priceless treasure?"
As of lately, my mind is constantly running. Juuust kidding. About the 'lately' part. I keep thinking I need to to a random thought blog or I will never be able to think about each thing thoroughly. Maybe I'll get to it, maybe I won't.
I feel that time is ticking away. I'm not getting any younger. Is time running out? Maybe it's all of the natural disasters happening that are making me feel this way. Or the fact that my first born is now old enough to have Tball practice three times a week, a game once or twice a week, and school pictures. School pictures?! Speaking of which; on Friday I sent a check for those pictures... a whopping FIFTY bucks. If I can recall, when I was in school, pictures were like $13 for the package. What is happening to this world? It's a damn head shot and a class photo. Maybe I will be suprised and get a few poses. Maybe.
Back to the ying yang.
For the last 2 years, Jake and I have shared custody. I have Jackson from Sunday at 4PM, until Sunday at 4PM. It's worked well for both of us. Last year I kept him during Jake's week, while he was at work, since I was unemployed. It was nice being that kind of Mom for a few months. Now that I am back to work, we had to get the little man back into day care. He's in preschool now so it is a little harder to find someone willing to take him to school. We found someone. Then she treated my precious little boy in ways that I wouldn't, but that's another story. Sooo, we found another sitter. She used to tend for us. Before I lost my job last year. Her hours are whack. 7:30AM-5PM. Who works those hours, honestly? A bank teller, maybe. A school teacher can't even pull that one off. Anyway- my work schedule is 8AM-3PM. Jake's is 5:30AM-5:30PM. Since he can't go to her house until 7:30, Jax gets to come see Mommy every morning. It is something I've longed for since he started going to his Dad's every other week. We snuggle every morning. Just my two babies and I. It's bliss. I am usually here to work by 8:15 or so. It's a hectic morning, I tell ya. But I do enjoy it very much so. These last few days I have completely ignored my alarm and laid in bed holding my two little love birds as long as possible. I may or may not have made it to work by 8:15... but hey, nothing beats snuggling with my babies. Not a phone call, not an invoice, not a dollar. That extra hour of having them sleep peacefully next to me has got me thinking about my time. What am I doing today that I will be able to cherish in twenty years? My mind is a big box of jambles right now. I want to read a book; but I don't have time. I want to go the park and swing with my little man; but I don't have time. I want to go for a run; but I don't have time. I want to take a bubble bath in candle light, with a CD playing; but I don't have time. I want to go visit my Momma; but I don't have time. I want to walk through a field of weeds and take a picture of my babies and I laying in them; but I don't have time. I want to meditate; but I don't have time. I want to scrapbook; but I don't have time. I want to decorate; but I don't have time. There are so many things that I say I am going to do, or that I want to do, but I have yet done them! Here is the kicker: I am not doing anything that is making me so busy, that I can't enjoy these simple pleasures in life. My mind is constantly racing, and that is why I feel this way. Time is ticking... and here I am, doing nothing but thinking. What a waste of time.
So, this is to me, shutting my mind down. Taking in the love, peace, laughter, of every moment I get with a stranger, my baby boy, my little sweetie, my Mother, my friends, and my family.
I'm going to spend my time wisely. I am going to make memories with my children, that will last a life time... and live on after that, too.
I am going to take a bazillion pictures. Just to mark a stone on the path. If it's blurry, it still has heart. No more million snaps. The perfect picture I am seeking is that blurry one with the crooked smile and closed eyes.
When I am 90, I will be able to say that my time... was well spent.
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