Do they know what BI-POLAR is really like??
Do they know what SCHIZOPHRENIA is really like??
Probably not. And I hope they never have to find out. And for those that do, I'm glad I'm not the only person on this boat and if you know information I would seriously love to be educated. jaquiepetroff@hotmail.com
Bi-Polar and Schizophrenia are diseases. Just like Diabetes is a disease. You have to treat it for the rest of your life. You don't choose when you want to pay attention to it- it's there. And always will be. What I've had a hard time understanding is how you become ill... One moment you're leading a completely normal life. Financially successful. Happy with your job, home, family. You care about your looks. You care about your girlfriend. You can't wait to be a father/mother. You go out with friends. Wake up with a hangover. You have emotions. Then one night... you're gone. You aren't you anymore. You don't have a pregnant girlfriend. Your Mother is just a visitor. You have no emotions.
How... or WHY... would that happen?
I blocked this out of my mind for a long time but it was recently brought back into my life and here I am, confused as hell, once again.
I found this diagram this morning... and it's helped me understand a whole lot more.
For a long time, I've stressed that this disease could be genetic but I have never researched it. I think I know too much about depression and the medication that goes with it.. But Schizoprenia? Please, God...
Schizophrenia is a disease that makes it hard to tell the difference between real and unreal experiences. You are unable to think logically and it's difficult to behave normally and have normal emotional repsonses.
It's a complex illness and doctors aren't sure what really causes it but they do know genetic factors appear to play a role. *UGH.* From what I've read, part of the cause is stresses in pregnancy or early childhood. I don't want to be overly protective or paranoid about this but honestly, how could a Mother not be?! You bet I will not be feeding my daughter dairy products. And you bet I will be feeding her DHA every day. You bet I will be reading her books every night, and making a peaceful home for her. I will do whatever I can to make her comfortable and healthy. I try to avoid yelling, and avoid any stresses that I possibly can. But will that do??
This disease develops over years. The first symptoms are difficulty sleeping, irritibility, and difficulty concentrating. As the time goes on you will begin to have lack of emotion, strong beliefs that are not based in reality {delusions}, hearing and seeing things that are not there {hallucinations}, BIZZARE BEHAVIORS...
Medication will help... but this disease will never go away. When we were going to group, a lot of people explained that it's hard to stay on medication. And I'm sure it is. I can imagine how hard it is to sit with the fact that you really do have a mental disorder and you need medication. There are millions of people like this.. and society {"OMG... she is such a bitch! She must be Bi-Polar!"} has led people to believe that you are stupid, and wrong, if you develop these disorders. From the small amount of time that I've seen these manic episodes, I would say that every time the person stops taking medication, their symptons get worse. {It is October 2011, just this year, this person has spent 7/10 months in the mental hospital.} I know the hurt and anger I feel and it isn't even me. I can only imagine how they feel...
How do I protect my child from this? Who knows if I even can... :(
It's heart wrenching to see someone you care about go through this. Wish I could make it go away... for more than just one person. Can you imagine the feelings you would have being on medication and knowing that you have schizophrenia...? My heart would shatter. That person will never lead a normal life again... They'll never know what it's like to celebrate their child's first Birthday, or Halloween, or Christmas... They don't get to be trusted because of this mind battle... and it's just sad. :(
No comments:
Post a Comment