Day 13: Write a letter telling someone something you could never tell them.

I could honestly write a letter to a TON of people right now but I don't have time... and one thing has been on my mind lately and I never got a chance to say it so here we go.

Dear Grandpa,
Wow it seems weird having to write a letter to you instead of going up the street just to talk. I miss you so much. I knew it would happen some day, but I didn't want it to. Your great grandbaby girl came. She is so beautiful. I wish she could have spent time with you down here.. I know she would have loved hanging with her Grandpa just like Jared, Jackson, and I did. After you passed, I thought a lot about my past. Wondering if I ever did something to disappoint you, because you never made me feel like you were disappointed or angry with me. You were always the one to be proud of me. I think back to the oh so regretful event that took place in my life in October of 2009. You looked so handsome in your suit. You stood with me, and had a smile on your face the entire time. Some of my favorite pictures of you are from that night. I brought my beauty and parked it out front to take pictures with it, I never knew that was something that made you so proud until your caretaker told me you had talked about it several times. Which brings me to the question I have in my mind constantly. Were you disappointed in me for getting married for the wrong reasons? Were you angry that I wasted money, energy, and love on something that I knew wasn't real? I act like it never happened, and everyone seems to shrug their shoulders along with me. But nobody else ever loved me the way you did, and I never got to talk to you about it, therefore I never got to know your thoughts and feelings about it... it's something that bothers me daily. I know I won't get a response from you, but I guess at least it's off my shoulders. I miss you so much. I miss Sunday dinners with you, it was always the best. I miss the hug that I got every single time I saw you, no matter what... and that whiskery kiss that I got every time, too. I know that you are safe and happy where you are. Please continue to watch over my mom, brother, babies and I... and if there is any way to let me know that you are still proud, give me a sign. :) I love you!